LOVE IS A CHOICE…..:)
First, what is love? Love is a feeling. A more specific delineation of that feeling cannot be given so simply & easily. Teen-agers seem to fall in and out of love regularly. One week it is this hot, amazing person that they cannot live without and a week later it is someone totally different.Most people believe that love is an emotion, and that is true, but emotions are largely created by our perceptions. One of the most important keys for long term love is to choose to love your spouse even when they are not being like-able.This, of course, is not encouragement to stay in an abusive situation at all. However, most marriages have ups and downs, good times and bad, and there are times when we will not like our mate one bit. Choosing to love them during these difficulties can see our relationships through hard times.Most of us begin marriage focused on our spouse’s strengths. We think about their intelligence, the way their eyes sparkle, the passion of their kiss. After a few years the tide may have turned and the focus is on mundane things like the way they leave their socks in a ball on the living room floor, By choosing to continue to focus on the positive qualities, relationships are strengthened.
People may say that they love food, love traveling, love toys or love dancing. I do believe that our strongest positive feelings about objects & activities contain many of the same elements found in all forms of love. Love of country or community adds elements of loyalty, pride of membership or common cause. Love for animals, co-workers, children, friends and non-spousal family members add elements of personal relationship and reciprocity of feeling. I am choosing to focus my attention on what is usually called romantic love — the main subject of a significant portion of popular music.
Romantic love (which I will usually abbreviate to “love”) drives exclusive relationships. Because love is a feeling there is no guarantee of reciprocity. Unrequited love is commonplace. Moreover, simply because love drives and is most frequently expressed in exclusive relationships does not necessarily mean that it is always expressed in exclusive relationships. Love is not desire — love is a feeling that can be expressed and can include the experience of fulfillment. (Desire is lack of fulfillment.) In love, the thoughts, feelings, actions and opinions of the beloved matter. There is a focus of interest, attention & caring on another person and their words & actions impact our emotions. Loving is a deeply involving process which can entail profound emotional interactions with the beloved.
Love is not closeness in the sense of familiarity because it is possible to love a total stranger — “love at first sight”. Love can cause desire for the greatest possible closeness — or it can stir such anxiety as to make someone fear closeness and run away. Love can be a barrier to closeness when being honest with the beloved entails too much danger of revealing faults, inadequacies or shameful deeds.
Love is a feeling, not a command. Love cannot be willed into existence. One cannot sincerely make a vow to love. One can, however, commit oneself to be loyal to another person despite momentary feelings. When one feels love for another person repeatedly & strongly over a long period of time there is good reason to believe that those feelings will continue. Vowing to love under such circumstances is not misleading in the sense that the person who vows believes that love has a high probability of continuing. Lovers have a desire to reassure each other and to be reassured. Few people would agree to buy a house or have children with a beloved without a strong expectation that the love is an enduring one.
Love is not a habit or a duty. But when commitments have been made and/or expectations are high, the consequences of not expressing love, whether heartfelt or not, can be fearsome. When one is aware that it would be painful for the beloved to not hear words of love, habits seem a safe recourse.
How do you feel when you’re in love?Is it true that love conquers all? How can we say that it is true love? So many people today think that they can call anything love, but that completly takes away the meaning of love. To truly be in love you have to understand that faith is believing,all power cant be seen. Some people go looking for love,and think every kiss means forever and every smile means “Theyre the one”. True love is when you find someone imperfect,that you see perfectly. Someone who in a second, you can look at for the first time and see the world in their eyes. Its when you can know them for 5 minutes and feel like you’ve known them forever. Love isn’t easy, love can hurt. Love can last forever. It can. Or it can be overjudged and not be love at all. Lust is commenly mistaken for true love, but it shouldnt be even close to compared because true love is undescribable. You can put every word in the world that has a sense of amazingness or all the good things you can think of,and at the end of the day, you cant describe true love. You can only feel it. And when you have it you just know! Its when you can wake up and look at the person next to you,looking back,into your eyes. When you can spend 8 hours with them and it only feels like 10 minutes. Someone who interests you,and you think youve got figured out,but you know theres so much more. Some people think seeing a future with someone too soon isnt good, some people are afraid of the thought. But think into the future for a minute. If you think about love and why people want it, isnt it because they want it with them, as something in the moment theyre in when they find it and forever more after? its something you need to have before you can even think of your future because love is the base to all good things, and without a base, you’re building something on water. You’ll drown yourself without it. True love, is everywhere you go. Its the colors in the sky when the sun comes up or sets,its the song you have to turn up because the words bring this feeling to you of life, the song is something you love because it makes you think of someone or a time when you felt meant a lot in your life. Love is looking at one thing and thinking of a million more things because of it. Love is the look of dissapointment in someones eyes as they feel upset when you fail,and the hand they lend out to help you stand from your falls. Love is being proud of someones success. Its finding the person who not only completes you but shows you who you are and how amazing you are to begin with ! they show you that no ones perfect but everything you have you are lucky to have,and that you should take not a single moment for granted because life’s like a clock.. you cant go back in time, you cant pause a single second and stay lost in it forever. thats why we have to use our hearts within us to with hold every single moment we have lived through,because unlike a clock, we can look back on them, and in our hearts and minds go back to those moments and realise how lucky we were, how amazing they were,who they made us today. Love is looking in that persons eyes, for the first time, or the last. And knowing that without them,nothing would be the same. You think of them before you go to bed,and the second you wake up. You dream of them,but it cant compare to a reality that puts fairy tales to shame. True love isnt finding your fairy tale,its making one that is perfect in your eyes with the person you cant imagine living it without. That, is true love.